Most people have never been
trained on how to apologize. We know to say I’m sorry, but not much
more than that. When your relationship has ended and you want your ex
back, just saying I’m sorry will probably not work that well.
There are much more impactful ways of apologizing, however. When you've
been dumped by your ex for wronging them in some way, you will need to
use what can be called a Power Apology.
A power apology can get your ex from anger to forgiveness sometimes in
minutes when done correctly. Here are some of the important steps
involved in making an apology that can get your ex back:
The first thing is to fess up to what you did. Own up to it. Admit it if
you wronged your mate (there is a different process if your mate wronged
you). This is important because rather than excuses and explanations
like "I was drunk, it did not mean anything!" you let your ex know that
you understand that you did them wrong.
The second thing is to mirror their hurt feelings. They are feeling bad.
That's why they kicked you out. If you let them know you know how
they are feeling, you are mirroring their feelings back to them.
You say something like "Hon, I
know I made you feel betrayed and unloved and very say by cheating on
you..." This is a very powerful form of emotional intelligence. When you
mirror their hurt feelings, they will feel like you really do understand
the impact of your actions.
The third step is to let them vent. Now you let them tell you how they
feel about what you did wrong. You don't argue, you don't defend
yourself, you let them get their angry and hurt feelings off their
chest. Your only job here is to make them feel heard and understood.
If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way
to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness. By
this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for
what you did wrong. You have been an adult and taken responsibility.
This is a good thing in and of
itself. Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings,
so they are feeling like you understand them at a deeper, emotional
level. You are creating the kind of bonding that can allow
forgiveness. And finally, you have shut up and listened to
them, let them vent and get things off their chest.
Now that you have done these things first, you can say I'm sorry. Rather
than rush in with I'm sorry, if you wait until after you've followed the
three prior steps your apology will be much more likely to be accepted.
There are more steps to take
after you apologize, which you can get in Part 2 of this article
here…
If you would like to get your
ex back even when they're not that into you anymore, you can check out a
complete 7 Step Strategy here at
Get
Your Love Back Now.
