It happens all the time all
over the world. You fought, or grew distant, you wronged your mate
or they wronged you, and they've called it quits. You've broken up
with your ex. A little time has passed and now you want to get your ex
back. What relationship advice can help?
In a break up, the feelings of love and intimacy you had for each other
got replaced by feelings of anger or hurt. Where you were feeling loving
and intimate you started feeling mad or betrayed. Good feelings got
replaced by bad feelings. So you fought and broke up. This is just what
happens in relationships all over the world.
But then you started feeling regret. After a day or a week or two you
started to feel like you missed those feelings of closeness and
connection. The anger or hurt feelings started to get replaced by other
feelings. So lets look at this truth about feelings. For the most part,
intense feelings like anger don not last. They change!
You understand this from your own life experiences. You've been mad at
somebody at work and after a day or two the anger diminishes. You've
been sad about something that happened to you and again, after just a
day or two, it goes away. This is important Emotional Logic to notice.
Feelings shift and are in flux for all of us.
This is of course very good
news for getting your ex back, because you understand at some level that
most people over time stop feeling so mad or hurt by whatever happened
in the past.
You know this first hand. While you were breaking up with your ex, you
were angry or very hurt and sad. Now, those feelings are being replaced,
shifting back to desire and longing for the closeness and connection you
had with your mate. Now you want to give it another go. Your feelings
have shifted. It seems obvious, but the point is important: feeling
change.
But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck. The can last a
lot longer, can't they? If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this
can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame. These are very difficult
emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them. They
aren't shifting or changing very much at all!
How then can you use Emotional Logic to help you to get back with your
ex? One simple important thing you can do is to help them to get their
negative feelings released and resolved. Help them to "vent" these
feelings and get them off their chest. You did this by asking them in
various ways how they feel about whatever you did that triggered the
break up. "How are you feeling about what happened?" Then be silent and
let them start to vent or spill their hurt feelings out.
Don't defend yourself or attack them while they do this. This just keeps
their feelings from being released. Instead, support them in feeling
heard and understood. Just 10 minutes of getting feelings off their
chest can really help. As these feelings get vented or released, it
makes room in their heart again to feel happier about you.
Do you see the emotional logic
of this? Heart full of negative emotions is bad, heart emptied of
negative emotions is good in that it can make room for love again.
There is a lot more to this, but helping your ex to vent their negative
feelings is an important step to getting them back in your life.
Emotions change, and you want to help your ex through the process of
changing their bad feelings for you into more intimate ones.
If you would like to get your
ex back by learning a lot more emotional intelligence, you can check out
a complete 7 Step Strategy here at
Get
Your Love Back Now.
